Amazing things have been revealed to me during my physical training. In many ways, its a bit like cooking – put the ingredients in place, loosen your mind and flow as you cook, and let the mysteries of the food be revealed in sensual delights. And when I use those nutrients in the food during exercise I get an added mystery as my body reveals secrets.
The stories below illustrate some secrets revealed whilst I was surfing. Enjoy!
There is a majesty when the ocean reveals her power.
Dying isn’t important. Its how we are born that is crucial. Or, in my case, reborn.
I want to live. But she won’t let me. She’s throwing me around, disorientating me, immersing me in darkness. I fight … for air … for an escape. And in answer she throws me around some more. And she’s whispering in my ear, “your power is nothing compared to mine … there is no use in fighting … just give in.”
Moments before, I had been paddling frantically to get through, get under, get over … get the hell-outta-the-way-of the mother of all waves coming towards me. Then I had been delivered to her. And I was rolling around in her grasp.
I found freedom. I found the surface. I found a new wave waiting to crash directly over me. And another. And in her grasp, I slowly begin to yield.
This is it. This is the end.
Adrenaline surges through me. My hands find my surfboard, now my life-raft. I cling to it. I holding on for life as the next waves wash over me. And as if being delivered from her womb, I’m spat out onto the the shore.
My ears are filled with the roar of the ocean. My heart is beating frenetically, like the drums of a Brazilian samba school. I look at the beauty of the rainforest in front of me. I look back at the water that has just taught how insignificant I am. I’m drinking this all in.
I’m feeling life coursing through me, all around me.
I want more.
She wants me. I can feel it as soon as I enter her – her caresses, how she plays with my body. I feels relaxation pour through my body. I need this.
I come up for air, and open my eyes to the bright blue above. I feel the water rushing around me, tugging me, willing me to venture further out. I get on my board and let the channel take me to the outside. I pass over waves, waves that are ripe for riding. But I’m heading for where the others surfers are waiting … waiting … for the biggest lumps of blue that every now and again come churning through to the whoops and cheers of the riders and those watching them.
I arrive. I wait. I feel waves of energy pulsate through me, reconnecting me. I feel once alien parts of my body come alive once more. I feel fatigue washed away … as I sit … wait … feel.
I spot my ride. I’m spinning round, paddling to get in sync with it as it slowly, effortlessly picks me up and holds me … ready … ready …
I’m on my feet, cruising down one section. It begins to close out so I spin round and head to the other side. I paint some lines into the face, some smooth flowing lines winding up and down feeling the cool breeze. Then the wave begins to mellow under me, its shape rounding, its power dissipated. I kick out.
I look back to the outside sighing – I feel I can’t make it out again. But she is tugging me once again, yearning me into her welcoming arms. I acknowledge her, letting myself go, and begin the paddle back out.
There is a change in my body, in my breathing – a lightness, a flow. I feel my heart … buoyant … floating in my ribs. The cage which once held it is opening, freeing me. I keep going. I head back out.
It’s a clear day – not a cloud in the sky, and the waves are rolling in. I’m pumped up with energy as I dive in and start paddling out. The first ones I catch … as always, the sweetest. I get some long rides and I’m paddling back with a huge grin on my face.
Slowly, I begin to give waves away – let other people have the ride. In all honesty, I’m more concerned with feeling the energy in my body. As I paddle around, I can feel it move with me – down my legs, my arms, my back. Its like discovering a whole new toy to play with: I sense I can direct this energy with my mind. The sensation comes … then it goes: just me and my body … no more mysterious energy to play with.
So I begin to focus on the energy centre – 3 inches below my navel. And as I paddle, I’m focusing on the 3rd eye, the energy centre between the eyes. Suddenly my paddling takes on a whole new speed and I’m cruising along. And working out what’s going on with the energy of a wave as they come toward me becomes easy – like where the energy is focused, where it will raise the wave highest, where it is best to catch it.
I catch a new wave like this, get my stoke on. Then I chill out on the outside. I’m choosey about my waves now – hunting for the bigger waves, the longer rides. I’m waiting … doing the patience thing.
That’s when things started to change.
My perception becomes so fragmented that I’m wondering where I am. I’m filled with awe … at the same time a sense of calm. My thoughts … seem distant … unreal. My understanding of what I’m seeing … becomes detached from what my eyes are looking at.
And I’m not looking for my ride – I’m feeling it.
Something guides me … and I’m paddling out, further outside … away. And when I get “there” my eyes see an almighty lump of blue lifting itself majestically. But my board has already turned … and my legs have swung my feet onto the board … my board hurtling down the line snaking its way up and down (or left and right … whichever way you want to see it) …
My awareness catches up with me … and … I’m wondering … what just happened?
There’s a DJ spinning a sound track in my mind – surfing … its that point where you lose yourself … and find yourself
OK … so a wave … its energy in motion. And I’d just hitched a ride.
Or did I?
OK … so a few definitions first: what am I (energy) what is life (energy) what is death (transformation of use of matter by … energy) … and … and … I’ve become one with that fluid, dynamic energy as it is expressed in a wave. And … my movements expressed that energy.
I’d felt connected to that energy … its power … its beauty, its majesty, its grace, its simplicity. I felt … IT … I felt connected.
I’m figuring some people call this God. I’m calling it Zen. And if surfing is Zen, and Zen is everything (and nothing) … then surfing must be one of the few things we get such a buzz from … for nothing. Because money doesn’t buy that feeling – it has to be searched out and found. And through countless days of no waves being caught and frustration taking over me, I also had to reach a point … where I let go …
And the DJ’s spinning another track in my mind – its only after you’ve lost everything and you’re free to do anything
I wasn’t thinking of this when I caught the wave. It just happened. Just like it walled up and dipped down, just like it reflected its changes as I rode it. And something guided me to take the high line. And I did. And I kept taking it. And now … I’m buzzing. In fact I’m buzzing so much that I decided it was time to pull over to the sand, put on the hazard lights and get out to breath. I breathed, stretched … did Yoga … breathed … and let go … of all the pollution on my mind. I reached beyond … and found peace. And in peace I found perspective.